Heart Issue
Well for the past few years I have been tapping on Maylee's heart to encourage her to give away the things she doesn't play with or doesn't need. The first time I approached her with this issue I thought her heart would melt at the thought of giving things to children who don't have as much as her and she would jump at the chance. I was so disappointed to discover that she was horrified at the idea of getting rid of any of her things. (Note to self... your children are just as human as you are). So for quite some time I have been chipping at her heart. Trying but failing over and over only to be met with many tears and me wishing I had never approached the topic. Wanting desperately for her to have a merciful heart and saddened by the fact that I don't do enough myself , I just placed it in God's hands. Recently in our school reading we have been reading a book called Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher. This book is about the preciousness of a little girls heart and how easily it can be led astray and spoiled. Through Betsy's story Maylee has learned so much. One being the value of reaching out to those in need. For the first time today she has been willing to actually go through some of her toys to give some away. I am not sure how much yet but it is a break through. Such a change of heart. Thank you our Merciful Father. Now the next step is to find a child or family in need.

Lately the Lord has been bringing songs to my mind...it has been a source of peace and growth..the lastest it by Fanny Crosby...

Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior

Pass me not, O gentle Savior,Hear my humble cry;While on others Thou art calling,Do not pass me by.

Refrain

Savior, Savior,Hear my humble cry;While on others Thou art calling,Do not pass me by.
Let me at Thy throne of mercy Find a sweet relief,Kneeling there in deep contrition;Help my unbelief.

Refrain

Trusting only in Thy merit,Would I seek Thy face;Heal my wounded, broken spirit,Save me by Thy grace.

Refrain

Thou the Spring of all my comfort,More than life to me,Whom have I on earth beside Thee?Whom in Heav’n but Thee?

Refrain

HAVE YOU SEEN JESUS MY LORD?
Have you seen Jesus my Lord?
He's here in plain view.
Take a look, open your eyes; He'll show it to you.
Have you ever stood at the ocean with the white foam at your feet;
Felt the endless thundering motion?
Then I'd say you've seen Jesus, my Lord.
Have you ever stood at the sunset with the sky mellow and red;
Seen the clouds suspended like feathers?
Then I'd say you've seen Jesus, my Lord.
Have you ever stood at the cross with a man hanging in pain;
seen the face of Christ on you brother?
Then I'd say you've seen Jesus, my Lord.
Have you ever stood in the family with the Lord there in your midst;
seen the face of Christ on your brother?
Then I'd say you've seen Jesus, my Lord.
Have you seen Jesus my Lord?
He's here in plain view.
Take a look, open your eyes; He'll show it to you.

Taken from Merri-Mac Songbook

Tucson Trip
This past week we were in Tucson, AZ. Our reason for going is the Gem and Mineral show that is held there every year. Tom just recently started his business as a mineral and gemstone dealer and his parents are collectors. So taking the kids to see them seemed like the right choice. God blessed us with an amazing place to stay. I call it my desert oasis. It proved to be a place of peace and rest for all of us. Ms. Sally is the home owner and had spent time praying over the place before we arrived. Most people think I am crazy for attempting to live in a small place for eight days with 4 small children. But God has blessed me with some amazing children who embrace a change of scenery rather well. They love to explore new things and will go anywhere.
I felt so much peace there that I actually slept well (deep refreshing sleep) everynight I was there. The kids played outside rain or shine.

We got to see Tom's Dad and Step-Mom rather often.

Does Anyone Else Think This Way?

I have discovered that when the kids and I stay a home all week and have a normal, relaxed day that is planned put relaxed, I am happier. It is when I look out my window and see the ocean in the distance and the hills that I get an itch to take the kids somewhere. I think to myself, "Man it would be fun to take the kids to the beach and play in the sand or play at the park. Before I know it( if the car is available) I am off to somewhere... dragging my kids behind me. They will love it.
I wrestle with them to get them in the car...
wrestle them out of the car....
watch them run and play while I survey the area for safety purposes...
hold the baby...
feed the baby....
pick up crying child...
call wandering children back to me.....
Listen to 5 or 6 people tell me how full my hands are...
wrestle them back to the car because I can't handle them all every where.....
listen to them argue and cry all the way back home... complaining about what they didn't get to do
wrestle them out of the car and back into the house...
send them to their rooms for rest time because I am exhausted.
then I plop down on the couch and wonder, "What was I thinking".

I was thinking about doing something nice for my kids but the cost of it became more than I could handle. 10 minutes of fun cost me a days worth of exhaustion. Are my expectations way to high. Is it wrong to just want to stay at home? Am I confined to these quarters because of my kids. I want them to experience the world but ten minutes of the world cost me my strength.
May be the world will have to wait until they are all bigger or at least until Daddy gets home.....

Any ideas?

Prayer Journals

I have been trying to think of ways to teach my kids to value God and develop their relationship with him. One of the things that I should probably do more often because it strengthens my walk with Christ, is journaling. I enjoy it. So one day I thought why not start this early in my kids life so that when they are older it will come naturally to them and even be an anchor for times when they start to stray. We all have things that pull us back to God when we have wandered far. For most, I believe it is something from our childhood, a tradition or some thing familiar to us. My mom used to journal... I never told her this but I read a few entries every once. I remember sitting in our brown Toyota waiting for family to come. I picked it up out of curiousity. I was blessed by her candidness with God and the apparent trust she had for Him. Sorry Mom. I don't remember anything personal strangely enough. I think it was just one of those times when God was drawing me in.
So I presented the idea to the kids and they love it. Aiden writes a few words but draws stuff most of the time. Maylee does both. I told them that sometimes we don't have the right words and drawing pictures is a good way to explain. God also is so amazing that He can read our words even when they don't make sense. They like that.
So every morning i have them write or draw. So far so good. I am sure their will be more lesson from this practice.
For those of you who are straining to read Maylee's journal, she asked God to make sure we have enough money for her birthday present. You gotta love my perfectly imperfect children.

Karate Kid

HaeeeeY!!!!!

Ya!!!!!!!

We Spent the First Day of 2009
Building a Castle out of Cardboard boxes and playing Kings,Queens, Knights and Dragons all day. Note the balconies, windows and doors that open, on the side is a rose vine and a garden. It was a fun day learning about chivalry, proper sword fighting and about different castles around the world. We love the Playmobil stuff. It sure would be fun to take a tour of a few castles sometime. If was great hanging out with Tom and the kids all day with no plans but to have some fun.

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Christmas Pictures

Christmas in California

Christmas 08 005, originally uploaded by melspann.

Thank you to all the grandparents and great grandparents, aunts and uncles who made this Christmas so special for our kids. The kids got a package in the mail everyday the week before Christmas. The tree was loaded with some amazing an loved toys. Merry Christmas everyone.

Love you and Miss you

Home made Christmas Ornaments.

The oval shape is Maylee's creation. The first cross is mine with cloves for nails. The purple and yellow is Tom's and the rest are one we made with some cookie cutters I had. Then we painted them and put glitter on. It was actually a great deal of fun. We spent about three hours on it. The morning flew by fast. It was 1:00 and the kids didn't once ask for lunch. That means they were really into it. SHHHH!!!Tom loved it just as much!!!

Airplane

Fun Pictures
I was just having fun taking pictures on Friday. The light was good and the kids were enjoying their time outside after school work. Sadly it is December and we can be out with shorts on. Okay maybe not so sad but you get the point.

Gingerbread Houses
This is becoming fun tradition in our house. Right now Tom and I do most of the work while the kids eat the candy and icing.

I am not sure how many times I told Lilly to stop licking the icing.

Maylee, Lilly and I did this one.

Daddy and Aiden's house.

My Attempt at an Advent wreath
Okay Jennifer J. I got this idea from you. I wanted to make mine natural like yours but we live in an apartment complex. They tend to frown on people cutting the foliage so I had to buy my evergreen from Joann's Fabric. 50% off coupon. It still turned out decent and the kids seem to love it. Every night they ask if we can light another candle. Mostly in hopes that Christmas is one week closer.

Maylee's Haircut
Way too cute. Why didn't we do this earlier?

Graduate Gemologist

James Lucas just a few days old

James Lucas Spann
Born Oct 6, 2008
9lbs 6oz
21 and 3/4 inces long

Reflection
Today I have been thinking back over the past year and words I feel God has been trying to get me to hear. This year started out rough. Tragic death of a close family friend and even a couple of acquaintances. Then it seem to turn to watching as marriages were under attack. Some now being restored and others failed.
Yet in that there was finding out we were expecting another little one. My grandmother finally moving closer and getting to spend time with her.Then discovering God had an amazing adventure waiting for us in California.

In the midst of all the change I have to admit it took it the life out of me. It impacted our marriage. It was tough to deal with all that while being a vessel of new life in God's act of creating James Lucas. Physically, mentally and yes even spiritually for the last year I have been completely exhausted.
So looking the mirror at my over sized belly, thinking about the fact that even this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride for me. Now I am waiting every day for him to arrive. I feel like I have been walking on a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. Not knowing when or if I might fall, seeing the bottom and crying out of fear that I might end up there smashed to pieces. My words were often, " God show me the next step, when to make it and how to make it. At times he told me to stop looking at the ground and enjoy the view around. I was amazed at His masterpiece. Other times He told me to take a step and so I did even though my heart was pounding and the sun was glaring in my eyes. So far I am safe and beginning to see the safety net that God has had underneath me the whole time.

James Lucas' arrival for me will hopefully symbolize a time of spiritual rest from crossing
one of the valleys of the Grand Canyon. Then I am sure there will be another valley to dangle over or perhaps walk through. For now I must remember there has never been a time that He has let me go somewhere that He wasn't there with me.

His constant whisper has been, "I am here, I love you. Trust my heart."
So this is me trusting.

Maybe Today

Yes I am still pregnant. This matches my track record of course. Most people assume that if you are on your fourth child the baby is coming earlier and faster. I am an exception I guess.

The toughest part of the last weeks of pregnancy is wondering if maybe today the baby will come. The doctors here believe that pregnancy is actually 40 to 42 weeks. At 40 weeks they run test and monitor my fluids to make sure he is safe and make decisions based on that. So I could actually be pregnant for another 10 days.
So I guess we wait. I have an appointment on Monday we will know more then. Unless he comes before.