James Lucas just a few days old

James Lucas Spann
Born Oct 6, 2008
9lbs 6oz
21 and 3/4 inces long

Reflection
Today I have been thinking back over the past year and words I feel God has been trying to get me to hear. This year started out rough. Tragic death of a close family friend and even a couple of acquaintances. Then it seem to turn to watching as marriages were under attack. Some now being restored and others failed.
Yet in that there was finding out we were expecting another little one. My grandmother finally moving closer and getting to spend time with her.Then discovering God had an amazing adventure waiting for us in California.

In the midst of all the change I have to admit it took it the life out of me. It impacted our marriage. It was tough to deal with all that while being a vessel of new life in God's act of creating James Lucas. Physically, mentally and yes even spiritually for the last year I have been completely exhausted.
So looking the mirror at my over sized belly, thinking about the fact that even this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride for me. Now I am waiting every day for him to arrive. I feel like I have been walking on a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. Not knowing when or if I might fall, seeing the bottom and crying out of fear that I might end up there smashed to pieces. My words were often, " God show me the next step, when to make it and how to make it. At times he told me to stop looking at the ground and enjoy the view around. I was amazed at His masterpiece. Other times He told me to take a step and so I did even though my heart was pounding and the sun was glaring in my eyes. So far I am safe and beginning to see the safety net that God has had underneath me the whole time.

James Lucas' arrival for me will hopefully symbolize a time of spiritual rest from crossing
one of the valleys of the Grand Canyon. Then I am sure there will be another valley to dangle over or perhaps walk through. For now I must remember there has never been a time that He has let me go somewhere that He wasn't there with me.

His constant whisper has been, "I am here, I love you. Trust my heart."
So this is me trusting.

Maybe Today

Yes I am still pregnant. This matches my track record of course. Most people assume that if you are on your fourth child the baby is coming earlier and faster. I am an exception I guess.

The toughest part of the last weeks of pregnancy is wondering if maybe today the baby will come. The doctors here believe that pregnancy is actually 40 to 42 weeks. At 40 weeks they run test and monitor my fluids to make sure he is safe and make decisions based on that. So I could actually be pregnant for another 10 days.
So I guess we wait. I have an appointment on Monday we will know more then. Unless he comes before.

Lilly's message for Luke

Hey little dude you better get here soon because I am finding all kinds of uses for your things..... for instance your carrier makes great reading chair for me. Your bassinet is great for my stuffed animals. Your lucky though, I tried on some of your clothes and they don't fit....maybe they will fit my baby dolls

Warning: You have got your hands full!!

So when we found out we were going to be blessed with a fourth child, I was a little worried about all the comments I would get. Mostly because when I was pregnant with our third almost every person I came in contact didn't hesitate to comment on the number of children I had. Personally at the time I did not consider 3 kids to be a large number of children. The comments usually go something like this:
( These comments don't seem so bad. So read them with the same tone of "You have a huge spider on your arm.)

"Wow! You have got your hands full!"
"You are one busy person"
" You are brave"
"Are all these yours?" followed with "Wow you are having another"
"You must be wonder woman" my personal favorite especially since I don't recall wonder woman having any kids.
"You have got a tough job"

I usually respond with silence or a crooked smile. However I should come with a warning label that says *** May respond with sarcasm**** Poor well meaning souls have no idea the comments that could slip out of my mouth if I were to open it.

******So here is the true warning ******

It is rude to overstate the obvious in any situation. Most people who are in a situation that you are not familiar with or scared of, already know they are in that situation. Comments like that only make them feel small.
If you feel the urge to say something make sure it is a word of encouragement.

I feel blessed that God trust me enough to give me four. In God's eyes children precious gifts, and arrows in our quiver. The fact that God would choose women to join Him in the creation of human life should be respected, valued and received with humility.

Quote from Wonder Woman Comics

"If the prospect of living in a world where trying to respect the basic rights of those around you--and valuing each other simply because we exist--are such daunting, impossible tasks that only a super-hero born of royalty can address them...then what sort of world are we left with? And what sort of world do you want to live in?" -WONDER WOMAN #170

5 weeks left

Kraft Mac and Cheese Crackers

While watching cartoons the other day a commercial came on for Kraft Macaroni Cheese Crackers. The mom hands a child a new snack (Mac and Cheese Crackers), the cheesiest. The child takes a bite and and a gush of cheese lifts the child up out of their seat into the air. Several more kids try it and more gushes of cheese.
Later that day when Tom gets home Aiden says,

"Dad, I really want to try those Mac and Cheese Crackers but they look dangerous."

I think Kraft missed their target market.

We had a fabulous time at Disneyland

Happy Birthday Lilliana Joy
She definitely live up to her middle name. She has a unique way of finding joy and spreading it. Even when she is in trouble she grins. She loves playing with animals and to sing. It is hard to believe she is only two because she talks rather well, her imagination is strong and she even potty trained herself (creature of comfort did not like diapers). I love you Little Bit.

Happy 6th Birthday Maylee Rose!!!
She is dramatic, loves to make friends and dress up like a princess. I don't know what is funnier the jokes that she tells or the way she laughes at herself after she tells them. She loves to perform dances and sing songs she has made up. Definitely a girly girl. I love my little Princess.

8 Years ago today my life was forever changed.I met this beautiful man. Other than salvation he is the greatest blessing God ever gave me.

Happy Birthday Aiden!!!!
4 years old today

As always he is super sweet! Such a gentleman and generous. Our little lefty has a love for baseball, soccer, wave boards, trucks, tractors and sticks. When we go to the beach his imagination soars. He is counting to 20 with ease and can read some small words. He tells us often that we are the best parents ever or "I love you, Mommy". Sweet. I love you Little Man!!!

For those of you who are wondering if homeschooling is messing up my kids......

Look at them. They are perfectly normal.

Fun at the San Diego County Fair.

Riding the Waves

Aiden's First ride on a wave board. As you can see he was excited. It was fun to watch him soak up the activities at a busy beach. Frisbee, sandcastles, wave riding, and so many other sports.

Congrats to Maylee

Maylee finished her first official year of homeschool. She can now read, write, do Math K, Science K, and learned about world cultures (history) and art. She also had some field trips and physical ed. This picture her receiving awards for all the subjects completed. She was so excited. We took her out for pizza and ice cream.

From Ocean to Ocean

Yesterday I had a moment to sit on the beach without kids and watch the waves roll in as the sun was going down. It was a brief moment because Tom had taken the kids up the cliff for a hiking adventure. My legs were sore from a sunburn and tired. I sat on the sand mound with the ocean roaring and I heard God speaking directly to me. Such a soft voice to be heard but He was reminding me that 8 years ago I was on the other side of the United States sitting by myself at the Atlantic Ocean needing Him desperately after enduring some hardships. There on the Virginia beach He spoke clear to my heart. He told me how much greater He was than the ocean and definitely greater than my circumstances. My situation definitely improved for I met Tom and we got married. Now we have 3 beautiful children with one more son on the way. This year however has been rough. Some how I found myself back at the same spot I was 8 years ago, hurting and not sure if things would improve. But God in that special way that He pays attention to even the smallest details of my life arranged for such a moment as that one. Sitting there now on the Pacific Ocean by myself needing Him. He knew my time with Him would be interrupted soon so me spoke clearly about His love for me. Yet inspite of that I was finding it hard to let my heart trust Him. I knew that in all circumstances we are supposed to praise Him but my spiritual voice was missing. Tom and the kids returned and I sat there trying to be content that God had spoken to me and sighed. The kids being their usual selves became a huge distraction before long. Tom sat down beside me hand smiled. Maylee ran to the ocean with her stick to write in the sand. Tom followed and I just assumed he was going to help Maylee write everyone's name. Instead he wrote, "I love you". Which was quickly washed away by the ocean but forever written on my heart. I needed at that moment for him to be expressive toward me that way. He insisted that we sit back down together with the kids and watch the sun set. So we did, of course Lilly cried and Aiden threw sand and Maylee rambled on about something we could not understand but we watched and praised God inspite of the distractions. As the sun settled behind the earth God whispered I love You. He reminded me that marriage is for that very thing. When one half of the two He has joined together is weak the other can reach out and praise the Lord for them both. At that moment I felt two relationships were renewed. I love you Lord. I love you Angel. Happy 7 year anniversary!!!! With you both from Ocean to Ocean or anywhere!

We played all day at the beach for Memorial Day. It was fun. Sandcastles, sunscreen, sleep and smiles.

Strawberrys, Shells and Sand

Today was an amazingly fun day. We went to the beach and hiked down the cliff to the rocky shore and collected rocks and shells. We found some many different varities of shells and stones. The kids actually surprised us by climbing all over the sandy cliffs exploring the crevices. Maylee discovered a bench up on one of the cliffs. We climbed up and rested a little while soaking in the view. It was nice to sit as a family and watch peace roll in like the waves. It was short lived peace because kids don't rest long. They had so much fun that they forgot that it was lunch time. We didn't eat until we got home about 1:oo, which is late for my kids. Then rested at home for a couple of hours. After naps we decided to go out to the strawberry fields (which are pretty popular here). It is a place were you pay and pick as much as you can get in a bucket. The kids of course were picking and eating. Tom and I forced some down too (ha! Ha!). We had so much fun finding the biggest and most red strawberrys we could.

When we were done we carried our loot to the car and set out for some dinner. We enjoy burgers from IN-N-Out burgers. What did we decide to do then with all the daylight we had left. The beach. We went to a different part and of course looked for more shells and tried not to get wet but of course we failed. After taking a long stroll down the beach leaving a trail of kids shoes along the way, we found some amazing shells then decided to walk back and enjoy the sunset. The kids were completely exhausted. Aiden's feet were black from the sand so I took him down to the ocean at the end of the day to wash. Just as I set him down a kids rubber ball rolled right up between his feet. He was so excited. I told him it was a surprise from God. TO me though the whole day was a gift from God.